Inclusivity Within Relationships and Sex

In this blog, I want to discuss my opinion when it comes to inclusivity and how it benefits others within relationships and sex. I would also like to explain how apathy can be an adversity to inclusivity and what connection over person means and how it has personally changed my perspective on relationships.  
I want to start out by saying that inclusivity can open a lot of doors to new connections. It makes others feel welcome in ways that allow people to be heard and seen. Being inclusive means a lot more than just including others but it also means the inclusion of the self. Allowing empathy and sympathy as a guide while also promoting connection by being vulnerable. Being inclusive is important but what does it mean to be inclusive? How is inclusivity expressed in different situations? What can we do to be more inclusive of each other?  
 
Inclusivity is being mindful of others empathically and the actions behind those feelings. For example, say you have a situation where you are spending time together with your friends, and someone shows up that you do not know. They are having difficulty entering the conversation and as you are watching this you feel empathy for the person and allow yourself to envision how you would feel in this situation. So instead of applying apathy which would allow this situation to continue, you create an opening for this person to feel more comfortable entering the conversation. In this example it is the beginning of inclusivity, however, inclusivity can be continued throughout the experience of everyone involved. Though I may be giving a generalized version of inclusivity, this is just one of many aspects of inclusivity that can be portrayed. Whether it be platonic or not.  
 
In relationships, introducing that same method of inclusivity can also be expressed. For example, let us say that you are in a relationship with someone, and you are experiencing an issue within the relationship. You feel an overwhelming feeling of dread because you do not exactly know how the other person will react and all these questions start flowing. What if they get mad? What if I am rejected? What if? What if? (In my experience I often feel like this, and it feeds into my insecurities often.) However, you decide that it is necessary to bring it up. When you bring it up, they are not only accepting of what you have to say but understanding in a way that makes you feel both heard and seen. In this example, this is not just a way to show inclusion through empathy but also inclusion of the self. Being kind to ourselves and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in this way is not only respectful but brave. This is also a good example of connection over person as it permits the opportunity for the other person to show up. 
 
This is also a good practice when it comes to sex. Sex is an extremely vulnerable experience and there are many instances where inclusion can be practiced. Personally, this starts anywhere from consent and talking about sex to the very practice itself. Being inclusive by understanding another person’s boundaries and actively being mindful of those boundaries within practicing. Even in situations where consent is withdrawn and providing careful attentiveness especially when the moment becomes distressful.  
 
Being apathetic in these situations I feel creates a hostile environment. Now I understand the fear of rejection when it comes to being authentic to yourself and others. I also understand that being inclusive places myself and others in a vulnerable experience. However, I also feel like without inclusion how can we truly grow as people? How can we gain self-confidence and understanding of that which we do not understand? How can we have more talks, connect with one another, and promote the human experience? I feel like if you agree with me then the answer is that we cannot. I often experience apathy day to day, but I also feel like it is not helpful in trying to bring a brighter change.  
 
Lastly, I would like to touch more on my understanding of what connection over person means. It is the act of inclusion by accepting yourself and others authentically. It is overcoming your doubt and fear by being fearless and gifting the opportunity for others to feel and respond. You are releasing that control that is based upon fear and replacing it with fearlessness and trust. By performing connection over person you are involving yourself and others in the most authentic relationship possible. By allowing your doubts to consume you, it robs you and every one of the connections that could have been.  
 
We are all on our journey of life and even though the world is full of fear and apathy, I am confident that we can all make a change to be more inclusive. I am always learning and growing especially when it comes to inclusivity and connection over person. I personally feel that connection over person creates a more honest relationship that allows love, trust, and vulnerability to ascend. I must be fair to myself in how I feel and allow others the opportunity to decide how they feel within my connection with people and those dear to me. I cannot decide for others because I know if I do it robs them of our connection. Even though it is a struggle I will not give up. Neither should you. Love yourself and your connection and let us create a culture that is embraced in love and inclusivity. Thank you for reading.